I bought the book "Turning Points"written by my pastor in Baton Rouge, Dino Rizzo, a couple of weeks ago. I've been meaning to read it, but kept putting it off. I highly recommend it for anyone who is going through a struggle or will face a major struggle in their future (that covers everyone).
I finally picked it up last night and read it with a completely different outlook and intensity had I picked up just two days before.
Yesterday, Cheryl's dad called off the engagement. It was due to information I shared with him Monday morning concerning some stuff in my past dealing with sexual addiction that I did not share with him prior to him giving me his permission to propose. He is in no way judging me for my past but instead needing to re-evaluate his decision due to the new information in order to ensure that I'm ready and able to be the spiritual leader Cheryl deserves in a husband.
Thankfully Cheryl and I were both in the middle of a three day fast, so we were way more prepared spiritually to handle this than if we had not been fasting.
The main point is that out of a spirit of fear and embarrassment I kept this part of my past secret from him and others. After sharing it with him, he felt we needed to take a step back to ensure I am completely free of my past and ready to be the spiritual leader for his daughter before he can allow it to go further, if at all.
For the freedom to take place, I have to let this relationship completely die and trust that if it is God's will, then He will resurrect it at the right time in the future. However, first and foremost, I need to ensure that this issue of sexual addiction is defeated once and for all.
I have proven my obedience to man by submitting to his will since the beginning. Now I have to become completely obedient to God and learn to follow Him through discernment in order to allow all He has in store for me.
As Dino says in his book, "We have no control over how and when turning points enter our life. We do, however, get to decide what comes out of a turning point and how we react to it. Do we become better or bitter? Are we closer to God or further away? Do we embrace the turning point or do we pass up an opportunity to start a chain reaction that helps people for generations to come?"
Breaking this addiction will have major positive ramifications for the future and will end a long chain of similar behavior or worst in my family.
Another very relevant quote from the book is, "There are really no secrets in life. Everything surfaces eventually, and there is always a price to pay when you are involved in immorality. It is inevitable. You cannot be addicted to sin without it affecting your life. Sooner or later it will have an impact, not only on your life, but also on the lives of others around you. There is nothing you do that will remain a secret."
That quote nails it! Due to sin I thought I could keep private, the consequences are now affecting others. I'm just really glad Cheryl's dad was strong enough to follow the Holy Spirit and not bend to the pressures of the world to not call off the engagement and save any embarrassment this will cause. By doing this now instead of later it will allow freedom to come before the ties of marriage, which would be way more difficult to deal with then.
Sorry that this is such a long post, but this is just me sharing my heart and hurts in order that light will shine through the darkness once and for all!!! Please keep me and Cheryl as well as our families in your prayers that God's will be done through this.
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7 comments:
I LOVE YOU!!!!!
I know that you will get through this! You are a strong person. Our family had a lot of problems in the past and we stuck together and pulled through. It was a difficult time but Dad is fine now and I trust him 100%. I have no doubt in my mind that you will do the same. God was with us then and he will be with us now. I really understand what Cheryl and her family must be thinking, but once they get to know the family and you more they will learn that we stick together and pull through any obstacle that God puts in front of us. That ugly cycle is ended. Please let them know that if they need to talk to anyone that I am here to answer any questions or concerns. Shane be strong and stay positive. I really think things will turn out good and you and Cheryl will have a wonderful life together. GOD BLESS lcf
Shane,
My prayers are with you and Cheryl during this time of difficulty and pain. You did the right thing in clearing up the matter regardless of the potential consequences. God Bless you and Cheryl.
Bill
You hear those stories once in a while where someone will send a pastor a letter containing a list of his sins, intending to shame him. But on the contrary, the pastor takes the letter and reads it aloud to his congregation, exulting in the grace he's been given.
Glory to God that you can deny the old man, and even lift up your sin for the world to see! To the world, I think, it looks like a nightmare, but a new creation knows it's the absolute opposite. Maybe the pastors in the stories are forced to do it. With us, last year, you shared it without any (earthly) prompting.
I can't blame Cheryl's dad for having a hard time with it (and I'm absolutely not saying that he's trying to shame you.) But I'm praying that this will be more of a rest-stop than a turning point. I think you've unwittingly shown off your gift in the way you've responded to this.
Shane, God will always be with you!
This is what the Lord says. He created you and he formed you. He says, "Don't be afraid, because I have saved you. I have called you by name, and you are mine! When you cross rivers, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned, nor will the flames hurt you. This is because I, the Lord am your God, the Holy one of Israel, your Savior.
Because you are precious to me, because I give you HONOR and I LOVE you, I will give other people in your place; I will give other nations to save your life. Don't be afraid, because I am with you!
Isaiah 43:1-5
Dude when I wrote "Glory to God that you can deny the old man" above, I meant your old man, not Cheryl's old man! I need to be more careful about what I'm advocating up in here!
I actually teared up on this one. I myself am driving a wretched machine (C.S. Lewis quote) Some have the luxury of having lived untained youths with no ugly adictions or oppressions rearing it's ugly head but others of us have to always know without Him, his strenght, day by day, minute by minute, freedom would be lost. He is your sourse and nothing is impossible with God. He will honor your faithfullness and your candor in sharing your most person life struggles. My prayers are with you.
Thanks everyone for your words and prayers!!!
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